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    <title>STONE-COLD GEMINI</title>
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    <item>
 <title>off the wagon</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=341</link>
<description><![CDATA[Last week or so, someone (astronomer Parke Kunkle) made headlines when he posited the existence of a thirteenth zodiac sign, known as Ophiuchus, whose presence on our Western zodiac wheel would accommodate for precession, or basically a massive miscalculation astrologers allegedly have been making for thousands of years. A few people felt the need to bring this matter to my attention because this blog is Stone-Cold Gemini, but now I am supposedly a Taurus. <br />
<br />
Ugh. <br />
<br />
Well, enough astrologers have come forward to say that the Western astrological system accounts for the fluctuations Kunkle has pointed out. In the meantime, they're offended that an astronomer thinks so little of their ancient science. And I don't think we need to take science so seriously that astrology can't be one, too. Until we are dead certain how a little bitty atom works, what's at the bottom of the ocean, how to stop global warming (besides just feeling really bad about it), or how the universe was made, I don't think hard sciences are certain enough of the conclusions they reach that they can elbow the non-elect out of the ring. So huzzah for the astrologists. <br />
<br />
Furthermore, I don't think it's entirely stupid to... ... imagine that bodies as massive as the stars and the planets have some tiny impact on life on earth. The moon controls the waves and there is a poetic relationship between it and women's bodies (menstrual cycle, ahem). If it's plausible that a butterfly flapping its wings in Brazil can cause a monsoon in India, well, why can't Mercury pulling a little to the left fuck up somebody's day? Besides, maybe astrological predictions and parameters apply more to some folks than others. Who can account for all the factors that make us who we are? <br />
<br />
As for me, I know nothing about astrology beyond the characteristics of Geminis and Capricorns (they are incompatible, btw, no matter how hard you try) and what I read on S<a href="http://www.astrologyzone.com/">usan Miller's Astrology Zone</a> (once at the beginning of the month and a few more times throughout the month if it's a particularly good one). As for being distraught at learning that under some astrological system I may no longer be a Gemini, I think I'll get over it. Basically, in the 21st century, why don't we make a proper mess of it and just call dibs on whatever star sign we like, and then truly apply ourselves to the task of embodying the characteristics of that sign? Then we can align ourselves with those we are compatible with and start bar brawls with people who claim different allegiances. That sounds about right. <br />
<br />
I'll save the Tiger Mother for next time.  <br />
<br />

]]></description>
 <category>Thoughts</category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=341</comments>
 <pubDate>Wed, 19 Jan 2011 18:21:14 -0600</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Bunny killer goes viral</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=339</link>
<description><![CDATA[I am ambivalent about this post because it is about a video that is so horrible I couldn't finish watching it, but at the same time I think this horrible act needs to be brought to light and I hope the perpetrators are caught and punished.<br />
 <br />
<div style="text-align: center"><br />
<a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20101207-bunny killer.jpg">bunny killer fondling her prey</a></div><br />
<br />
In <a href="http://news.sohu.com/20101119/n277757159.shtml">this video</a>, a very attractive girl of the very cutesy type that really grates on my nerves is fondling an adorable baby bunny. Then she puts some plate glass on it, sits on it, smashes it flat, and tosses it on the ground. <br />
<br />
A Taiwanese friend sent me this link yesterday. She stumbled upon it while reading the Chinese news and also couldn't finish the whole video. According to her, it was actually a promotional video created to attract more users to another website, but she couldn't tell me which. So in the name of increasing unique visitors and therefore ad revenue, this girl and her two smiling, well-dressed collaborators smash baby bunnies for RMB6000 (about US$1000) per bunny. For my friend, this was an example of the ways in which she thinks Chinese people (including Taiwanese) love money more than anything else. <br />
<br />
It's complicated to call for a dialogue on animal rights... ... in a country where not even humans enjoy basic freedoms and dignity, but this monstrous act is beyond simple neglect or even abuse. What sickens me even further is the incongruity between this kind of innocent, dainty, respectable creature and the brainless cruelty she exhibits. <br />
<br />
My Taiwanese friend says she now wanders around China referring to this cutesy type (the &#22909;&#21487;&#29233;! type) as "bunny killers." It made me think of our own "<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunny_boiler">bunny boiler</a>s," though of course the Western equivalent has no pretensions to sweetness, it's all about sex.
]]></description>
 <category>Rants and Fumes </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=339</comments>
 <pubDate>Tue, 7 Dec 2010 09:58:16 -0600</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Taiwan&apos;s Eighth Annual Pride Parade</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=337</link>
<description><![CDATA[<a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20101030-taiwan pride.jpg">20101030-taiwan pride.jpg</a> <br />
<br />
Taiwan's eight annual pride parade was held on October 30 in Taipei. I haven't seen the official numbers yet, but it was predicted that 30,000 activists and revelers would be in attendance, up from 500 in 2003. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20101030-pride 2.jpg">20101030-pride 2.jpg</a><br />
<br />
According to the <a href="http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/feat/archives/2010/10/30/2003487238/1"><i>Taipei Times</i></a>, "With this year’s theme of Out & Vote (&#25237;&#21516;&#24535;&#25919;&#31574;&#19968;&#31080;), the organizers of the event’s eighth edition are calling on supporters to come out, speak up, and demand the implementation of policies giving the country’s LGBT citizens the same rights that their heterosexual compatriots enjoy." <br />
<br />
<blockquote>This year’s theme coincides with three openly gay candidates running in Taipei City Government’s legislative elections: Wang Ping (&#29579;&#34315;), secretary-general of the Gender/Sexuality Rights Association in Taiwan (&#21488;&#28771;&#24615;&#21029;&#20154;&#27402;&#21332;&#26371;); Sung Chia-lun (&#23435;&#20339;&#20523;), a member of BDSM Company (&#30382;&#32361;&#24841;&#34384;&#37030;); and Wang Chung-ming (&#29579;&#37912;&#37528;), who campaigns for the rights of homosexual deaf people. All three candidates will appear on-stage at the parade to discuss their political platforms.</blockquote><br />
<br />
I know in China efforts to hold such large-scale and public events celebrating homosexuality have been blocked by the government at the last minute for fear of causing social unrest, but it seems that in Taiwan at least homosexuals have a chance to air their grievances, even if there is still much more work to be done to provide for true equality under the law.]]></description>
 <category>LGBT</category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=337</comments>
 <pubDate>Sat, 30 Oct 2010 19:26:15 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>back in the saddle</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=335</link>
<description><![CDATA[It's been ages since I've posted anything, but that's because I have relocated back the US. Basically, if anyone is looking for an explanation, I felt very strongly that the path I was on while in Shanghai wasn't going anywhere I wanted to be, and realized that I had family stuff at home that needed to be dealt with. At the moment, I am working a very pointless office job while I prepare my applications for graduate school. I am looking at getting a PhD in cultural anthropology and returning to Taiwan and China to do fieldwork. Here's to the future!<br />
<br />
Basically, I was just gonna drop a quick line about divorce ceremonies in Japan. I first came across the topic in the <i>South China Morning Post</i> a couple of months ago and just never got around to posting on it. That, and I just checked the China Daily, and the only thing I came up with was an article on <a href="http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/life/2010-10/27/content_11462827.htm">the death of Paul</a>, the World Cup soccer psychic octopus...or psychic soccer octopus, whatever. I am obviously rusty.<br />
<div style="text-align: center"><br />
<a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20101030-soccer octopus.jpg">20101030-soccer octopus.jpg</a></div><br />
<br />
Anyway, I kind of dig these divorce ceremonies. I don't necessarily want to celebrate people getting divorced or encourage others to conceive of... ... marriage as a convenient, casual relationship one enters and leaves on a whim, but as rates of divorce continue to rise in Japan and elsewhere, I am sure it's better for people to see the end of their relationships as new beginnings, especially surrounded by their friends and families.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center"><a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20101030-divorcio2.jpeg">20101030-divorcio2.jpeg</a></div><br />
<br />
Basically, in this ceremony only recently developed by a Japanese businessman, the couple comes together with their loved ones to smash the wedding ring that bound them. Then they depart in separate rickshaws and go for separate meals. <br />
<br />
The big question for me is could a ceremony like this do anything to circumvent these horrible, angry, long divorce proceedings that so many couples (at least in the US) have to endure when they are getting divorced? There's something sadistic about making people who are so desperately sad and angry fight over "stuff." Perhaps a ceremony in which each side could celebrate the beginning of a new chapter in their respective lives would allay at least a little of that pain. <br />
<br />
I imagine it only really works to that end for couples who haven't been married that long, or at least for couples who are going to come out fairly equal in the end. I don't imagine that in situations where one partner ends up losing the material goods amassed over a lifetime in a single relationship, that there would be so much to celebrate for him or her. <br />
<br />
Still, if a ceremony like this could help alleviate at least some of the pain and isolation folks feel when their marriages come to an end, I think it's appropriate and in keeping with the reality of modern relationships.
]]></description>
 <category>Thoughts</category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=335</comments>
 <pubDate>Sat, 30 Oct 2010 18:49:47 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>idiot gets published</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=333</link>
<description><![CDATA[<div class="leftbox"><a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20100810-holly-184x300.jpg">20100810-holly-184x300.jpg</a></div>A friend put me on to Holly Hill, the author of <i>Sugarbabe</i>, which, as it turns out, was just published in July. I don’t normally have my finger on the pulse of stupidity, but here we are. <br />
<br />
Just based on my buddy’s description of Hill as a self-proclaimed “naughty feminist” who thinks men should be allowed to cheat on their wives because the brawnier sex is hardwired to be promiscuous, I assumed Hill was nursing a severe heartache. A little googling – cherchez l’homme! – and the truth came out. <br />
<br />
<blockquote><a href="http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity-lifestyle/articles/living/how-to-find-a-sugar-daddy?click=main_sr">A few years ago</a>, Holly Hill left her job as a psychologist in Sydney, Australia, at the request of her married investment-firm-owner boyfriend, who wanted a full-time mistress. Everything was AmEx black cards, La Perla underwear, and hot sex, until her lover got the guilts and went home to his wife. Hill was left with a broken heart, a half-written novel, and a mortgage she couldn't afford… </blockquote> <br />
<br />
So after a devastating breakup that left her an emotional wreck, this 35-year-old former psychologist posted an ad for herself as a mistress who would cook, clean, converse and put out for an allowance. A year later, and she’s gathered enough material... ... to write a memoir revealing what men really want out of relationship. Guess what – it’s sex, and you aren’t giving your man enough. And that’s why he’s going to leave you, just like Hill’s man left her!<br />
In order to prevent this most heinous of eventualities, Hill counsels women to pull out every feminine trick in our handbags: <br />
<br />
1. <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/Sugarbabe-Author-Holly-Hill-Interview-9069552">Incite his jealousy</a>: "Always remind him how valuable you are, how popular you are, and drop subtle hints that other men still find you desirable." <br />
<br />
2. <a href="http://www.tressugar.com/Sugarbabe-Author-Holly-Hill-Interview-9069552">Be high-maintenance</a>: "Don't let yourself go — there is nothing less valued than a commodity that no one else wants." <br />
<br />
3. <a href="http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/07/14/sugarbabe-infidelity-why-women-should-let-men-cheat/#comments">Be controlling</a>: Hill’s “naughty feminist” may be okay with having an open relationship, but there are still rules that must be followed. For example, Hill’s man “may sleep with every woman in the WMBA for all [she] care[s], but he's not permitted to spoon any of them.” And if you do find out your man is sleeping with someone else, harness that jealousy and establish a relationship with the other woman so you can collaborate on keeping your (collective) man happy. Knowledge is power: so long as you know EVERYTHING that he's doing when you're not around, you are in control. <br />
<br />
4. <a href="http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/07/14/sugarbabe-infidelity-why-women-should-let-men-cheat/#comments">Be patronizing</a>: Men are no better than dogs which have no control over their hormones, so there’s no harm in letting the poor guys indulge in little fucking on the side now and then: “Naughty feminism is walking the dog on a leash rather than letting it escape through a hole in the back fence.” <br />
<br />
This is the same happily-ever-after fantasy dressed up in fuck-me heels and fishnets. No, sorry Holly, even if you let your man fuck around, and you fuck around on him just to prove how fuckable you are, there is no guarantee that he is going to stay with you forever and ever. Hell, there’s no guarantee that you will want to stay with him forever. Out of just nowhere, someone taller, darker, and more handsome might come along and just whisk you off your feet, and even that negotiated infidelity that you so carefully formulated might not be enough; you might actually want to stay at your new lover’s house for days on end, and not return to your own steady piece of ass. <br />
<br />
Nonsense like this from a so-called “naughty” woman is actually the plaintive moan of a maladjusted child who is just ever so slowly learning that the world is not a very nice place. She’s making her last pathetic grasp at control, as though if you were to make everything just right, you can control the way another person behaves and feels. Worst of all, she wanders off the entertaining path of description into prescription, claiming that “<a href="http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/07/14/sugarbabe-infidelity-why-women-should-let-men-cheat/#comments">women who cross their legs deserve to be cheated on</a>."<br />
<br />
It’s frustrating because no sooner were women told that we could have sex for fun then we were told we have to, and just how to do it. It’s not conceivable that both men and women, whether because of nature or nurture, come in every stripe of the rainbow. Some men enjoy monogamy, so do some women. I hope they find each other. Some men and women might be open to sharing their affections and their bodies with more than one person and are comfortable letting their partners do the same. I hope they find each other. Some are cowards who lie to their partners about what they want and where they’ve been; they fuck around yet would be furious and inconsolable if their partners did the same. Some prefer the thrill of the lie and the risk of getting caught to be being open and honest. I hope I never unwittingly get involved with these insecure and dishonest types.<br />
 <br />
Anyway, this is all a joke. Congratulations to Skyhorse Publishing for pissing off a bunch of feminists for a couple of weeks, but I don't have the attention span — or the stomach — for this nonsense. <br />
]]></description>
 <category>Rants and Fumes </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=333</comments>
 <pubDate>Tue, 10 Aug 2010 19:32:35 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Baby girls develop breasts; hormones in formula blamed</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=331</link>
<description><![CDATA[Medical tests on three infant girls who were developing breasts revealed the hormones estradiol and prolactin in the babies exceeded those of the average adult woman, <a href="http://chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-08/09/content_11117619.htm">state media</a> reported. The parents of the little girls, aged four-15 months, blamed the infant formula. <br />
<br />
<blockquote>When one parent requested that the formula be tested, the local administration of quality supervision, inspection and quarantine refused on the grounds that it only conducts tests for organizations, not individuals.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, hospitals, usually do not have the facilities or trained staff to perform such tests, according to the report. </blockquote> <br />
<br />
One official noted it was entirely possible for the hormones to be present in the milk, but that they likely weren't added by the producer, Syrutra, a Qingdao-based company. <br />
<br />
<blockquote>"It's not likely for the manufacturers to add hormones to their products, because it won't help them sell or pass any tests at all," Wang told China Daily on Sunday.<br />
<br />
That does not mean the formula did not contain any hormones, he said, adding that the substance might have entered the food chain when the cattle were reared by farmers.<br />
<br />
"Since a regulation forbidding the use of hormones to cultivate livestock has yet to be drawn up in China, it would be lying to say that nobody uses it," he said. </blockquote> <br />
<br />
As my colleague said, "WTF is wrong with this place?" What the hell are people doing wrong that little baby girls end up with breasts, that they end up with more hormones in their little bodies than adult women have? Even in the US, where people who know better are in constant fear of what's in their food, little girls who eat too much McDonald's might experience early onset puberty at seven years old, NOT FOUR MONTHS!<br />
<br />
At least part of the problem is with parents who think giving their babies the formula that is marketed as the magic stuff that will make their little one smarter and develop faster than all his or her peers is better than breastfeeding. Some folks are on the right track: <a href="http://womenofchina.cn/news/Spotlight/221199.jsp">In honor of World Breastfeeding Week</a> (which was last week), hospitals in Henan province distributed medical care subsidy cards worth RMB300 (roughly US$50) to breastfeeding mothers. <br />
<br />
<blockquote>Women holding these cards can check in to Shaoling District Maternity and Child Health Hospital, which treats lactating breast disease in a specialized out-patient reception area. Experts offer free medical treatment to women suffering from breast engorgement, oligogalactia, agalactosis, acute mastitis, etc. The activity, held from Aug 1 to Aug 14, has been welcomed by local women. It has contributed to public understanding of the importance of breastfeeding, and encouraged all of society to encourage and support breastfeeding in efforts to create a caring social environment for new mothers and their infants. </blockquote>]]></description>
 <category>In the news </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=331</comments>
 <pubDate>Mon, 9 Aug 2010 05:40:49 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>love and marriage</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=329</link>
<description><![CDATA[There was an enjoyable survey of the evolution of the marriage law and the effect it's had on Chinese people's lives and relationships in the <a href="http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-08/04/content_11089700.htm">China Daily</a> the other day. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20100805-marriage.jpg">Married couple in the 1960s</a><br />
<br />
I also looked up an English version <a href="http://www.nyconsulate.prchina.org/eng/lsqz/laws/t42222.htm">the marriage law</a>, if you are interested. ]]></description>
 <category>In the news </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=329</comments>
 <pubDate>Thu, 5 Aug 2010 02:34:59 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>&quot;But here in China, and all over the world, men&apos;s dominance has not been threatened.&quot;</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=327</link>
<description><![CDATA[A recent poll of 6,021 men revealed that 80% believe they are under so much stress that a Men's Day is essential, <a href="http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2010-08/04/content_11089224.htm">state media</a> reported, citing the results of a nationwide poll. Respondents proposed August 3 (the third day of the eighth month) as the date of Men's Day as it echoes the date of International Women's Day on March 8 (however, March 8 is 3.8, and three-eight, or <i>san ba</i>, means stupid woman in Chinese). Men typically have more physically demanding jobs and a shorter life expectancy, so some feel they deserve the extra day off to relieve stress.<br />
<br />
Arguably, one extra day off a year isn't going to really drive down the stress of a gainfully employed person, male or female. For example, I didn't even realize it was Women's Day this year until I got an e-mail from HR at noon notifying us we could go home at 2:00. At that point, I already had so many things underway that I didn't go home until 5:00, anyway. All that meant was that I got to cook dinner an hour earlier than usual.<br />
<br />
However, the article also mentions a "'2010 international men's day' co-organized by the four major men's magazines... ... on the mainland, including Esquire, For Him Magazine, Men's Health and Bazaar Men", which makes this whole proposal stink of corporate meddling. It's another day for sales on cell phones, cards, and egg custard cakes to let your man know how much you appreciate all his hard work. <br />
<br />
A professor against the idea of a Men's Day thinks it is "mostly youngsters with higher educational background" who are agitating for a special day of recognition. "They have seen plenty of women who have excelled in the workplace. They feel their status is threatened, but they should bear in mind that improvements in women's work performances will not impair men's mobility," says Xu Anqi, a researcher at the Shanghai Academy of Social Sciences. <br />
<br />
Other are more staunchly against a holiday that might expose men's vulnerable bits:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>Wen Qiang, an editor of Shanghai Foreign Language Education Press, said that he finds that the so-called men's day simply doesn't make sense.<br />
<br />
"It is totally unnecessary to set up a men's day. To me, the source of men's stress is their craving for recognition from society," said Wen, a self-proclaimed chauvinist.<br />
<br />
"If a man has his tough appearance threatened, and his weak inner heart exposed, he will feel even more stressed. After all, it is not widely accepted that a man can boldly show his feminine characteristics on the outside."<br />
<br />
Men's day, he said, is a tool for those who worry about the rise of women's social status.<br />
<br />
"It is true that some women are overtaking men in the fields of economy, culture and politics," said Wen.<br />
<br />
"But here in China, and all over the world, men's dominance has not been threatened." </blockquote> 
]]></description>
 <category>In the news </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=327</comments>
 <pubDate>Wed, 4 Aug 2010 20:59:21 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>Starter husbands</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=325</link>
<description><![CDATA[<div class="leftbox"><a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20100804-mina.jpg">Mina Hanbury-Tenison</a></div>Author Mina Hanbury-Tenison caused a fuss a couple of weeks ago when her book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Shanghai-Girls-Unsentimental-Mina-Hanbury-Tenison/dp/9881841941/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1280969764&amp;sr=1-1"><i>Shanghai Girls: Uncensored and Unsentimental</i></a> was released. Apparently, it was upsetting to some to realize that Shanghainese (or any) women might be marrying for money, and downright offensive to give them a how-to manual. <br />
<br />
People get upset because they would like to pretend that they're relationships are based purely and solely on love. That's right, Mr. Paunchy Middle-aged Selfish Man who has heretofore been a repellent to women and many respectable men and looks like a waterlogged carcass, that hot 20-year-old Chinese chick totally digs how you have no butt and your nose hair is getting kinda bushy. She was totally not sold when you bought her that designer handbag. Nope, she fell in love for the first time when your drunk ass pushed her onto the bed and passed out on top of her. <br />
<br />
The point is that if some people want to run their game likes it an economic transaction -- and it's at least partly an economic transaction in every case that one partner doesn't have or doesn't exercise his or her ability to generate a personal income -- then let them. And... ... if Hanbury-Tenison wants to write about the scandalous Shanghainese women who use their personal relationships as business platforms, let her. <div class="rightbox"><a href="http://stonecoldgemini.com/media/1/20100804-shanghai girls.jpg">Shanghai Girls: Uncensored and Unsentimental</a></div><br />
<br />
But if you don't want to be loved for your looks alone, or your money alone, then don't sell your looks or your money. In the real world, a grown-up decision might mean doing something you don't like to get the things you do like, or even the things you need. It's unfortunate, however, that these women who are smart enough to have a business plan about marriage including upgrading husbands like getting a promotion lack the opportunity or the ambition to get what they want for themselves. 
]]></description>
 <category>Books</category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=325</comments>
 <pubDate>Wed, 4 Aug 2010 20:20:39 -0500</pubDate>
</item><item>
 <title>seriously why?</title>
 <link>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=323</link>
<description><![CDATA[I have been holding off on writing this post for a few weeks now, but since my recent diet of articles about the shitty circumstances of Chinese women isn't doing much for me, I am gonna have to go ahead and let this pot boil over. <br />
<br />
Why, when I post a link to an article on <a href="http://www.slate.com/id/2248156">slate.com</a> about "omega males" on my Facebook page (and it's my fucking Facebook page, you jerks, not even this blog, which is arguably more public) do my male "friends" leave asinine comments like "retool this" (the runt of the litter); "yeah well you show me a woman who wouldn't be happy if her man stood up for her" (you illiterate ass that's what the article was about, men who have basically thrown in the towel -- and picked up the  because the "traditional" masculinity isn't working for them anymore); and some ridiculous, puerile rant: "the image of the american woman has changed 50 times? oh yeah? that's cause american women change their clothes 50 times before they go out only to realize they're still fat in no matter what they wear"? Why? WHY?<br />
<br />
It's my Facebook page, where we go through the stupid formalities... ... of asking each other to be recognized as friends and you come wipe the shit from the bottom of your shoe on my wall. These were not anonymous cretins, no, two of them are cretins that I actually hang out with. Or did, until they proved to be so insecure in their own fragile masculinity that I can't even post social commentary on my own Facebook page without attracting their attention. It wasn't even an angry feminist article, though I would still be pissed if it had been and they had responded like that. But it was an interesting article about the way gender roles are playing out, and it asked a question, and these monkeys couldn't take the time to read it before spouting off.<br />
<br />
And why tonight? Why am I writing about this now? Because another Facebook friend who regularly posts lovely, interesting articles about women's issues, about body image issues, about sexuality, posted a Gail Dines column about "Stepford sluts," or the modern imperative for women to be high-maintenance sexual objects and the negative effect that has on young women. And you know what? Three (THREE) (3!) of her male friends wrote supportive comments in response. Nice things like "so true" and thoughtful things like "what utter crap to say pole dancing etc is empowering- that hypersexualisation is about sexual liberation is bullshit." <br />
<br />
The day this piss got sprayed on my wall, I deleted the comments (and I feel like such a junior high student complaining about something that happened on Facebook, but this is how we communicate now; this is what we've been reduced to) and put the commentators on my limited profile list to prevent them from randomly relieving themselves of their most useless thoughts in my forum again. But one was persistent and while I tried to avoid him, we do have a couple of mutual friends and up until then that point I'd had a much better impression of him, so finally we had to meet up. I chided him gently (I very gently called him an asshole, but I was smiling despite myself), but when we met for dinner later that week, another friend "warned" me against letting other people know where my "buttons" were. Basically, what I took from that waste of a conversation was that I shouldn't let anyone see me reading <i>The Second Sex</i> or post articles about gender on my post, because if someone suspects I am a feminist, they will use that knowledge to say annoying, painfully stupid things, and I will only have myself to blame. This same person later that night asked me if I had heard of the French singer he was into lately because, "She's a lesbian and you're, you know, a feminist." And he's gay. And he can speak like eight languages. <br />
<br />
How have I managed to find one of the last remaining pockets of reasonably intelligent people who still think feminism is a dirty word? Why are some people magnets for like good-looking male feminists and I get, well, the others? 
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 <category>Rants and Fumes </category>
<comments>http://stonecoldgemini.com/index.php?itemid=323</comments>
 <pubDate>Mon, 2 Aug 2010 10:44:17 -0500</pubDate>
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